Our Journey to Balance

A shift in the light.
A tailored sky.

Fold after fold,
a drop of rain,
the delicate ways the mist holds the trees.

Snow beneath black and grey clouds,
I hold my breath, and
drift into the fog.

Many of us disappear on purpose.

March,
a biting wind
hungers.

My bones ache,
a yearning fire.

Maybe I just long to feel it all.

Love and other absurdities,
those breathtaking moments
that ask for nothing…

Maritza Alvarez, Author
Breathtaking Moments
Our Journey to Balance © 2012-2021

Taking Responsibility For Our Peace

These days, I find myself beginning to look forward to spring, though I know where I live spring can be a long way off…yet. I also know it’s important to remain present in the season I’m currently in.

I never used to be a fan of winter. I hated being cold and wet and the short days weighed on me. However, when I started to practice more gratitude my outlook changed, and when I shifted into slow, deliberate living, it changed even more.

Dark days can still feel heavy. I miss the sunlight when we go for weeks on end without it, but I’ve adopted my mind to find things I enjoy no matter what the weather might be doing.

I find that slowing down has helped a great deal as I’m able to notice the small moments and little details I would’ve missed had I been rushing about my days.

When I’m able to take notice of these simple pleasures, I’m able to see the beauty and feel grateful. And, after I started exploring photography a few years ago, it only strengthened this ability within me.

Now, I’m always aware of the little things as these are usually my favorite to capture in a photo. It has encouraged me to be still, to look, and to listen - the way snow lines a branch, the way the trees create beautiful patterns with their vertical trunks, or even the silence that surrounds me when I’m deep in the forest.

There may always be aspects of the different seasons, whether that be literal seasons or seasons of life that we don’t particularly love, but this is where it becomes apparent how much we are responsible for our own happiness and that we cannot rely on things outside ourselves to bring us joy as we so often tend to do.

Life will always bring ups and downs and while being happy all the time is certainly not the point, finding gratitude or a sense of peace in any given situation will allow us to flow through life smoother, feeling a lot less ruffled when things go differently than we intended.

Maritza Alvarez, Author
Our Journey to Balance © 2012-2021

I will not listen
to the banal voices of pop culture
who tell me what to wear.

I will not listen
to the boring voices of bullish rhetoric
who tell me what to believe.

Nor will I listen to the blaring noise of the masses,
who tell me what to think;
voices that threaten my soul,
voices that try to deafen my mind, and imprison my heart.

Instead, I will listen truly and patiently,
to the voice that speaks
through the symphony of rain, or
the whisper of pine needles.

I will listen attentively, silently,
to the voice that tells of ancient stories carried by the wind.

I will listen, too, to droplets on leaves,
to the the storm that cleans the sky, and washes rocks,
quenches the forest and greets me.

I will listen to my own voice,
siphoned by the words falling on this page,
for I am the daughter of nature,
same spirit, same strength, same sincerity.

Maritza Alvarez, Author
The Whisper of Pine Needles
Our Journey to Balance © 2012-2021

Life has no inherent meaning. We are the only ones that bring meaning to our lives. And said meaning, is not just derived from our identification with our jobs, or our appearance. We are so much more than that; more than our birth certificate, more than the identity our parents have placed on us. We are individuals - beautiful, powerful, magical, creative beings.

We simply have to find our power again. And for me, the primary behavior that will encourage this, is self love.

We are truly our own worst critics, and quite cruel to ourselves. We start to question ourselves, doubt ourselves. We go through periods in our lives where enough consistent self judgement leads to a dark night of the soul.

For many, this starts when young - times when we’re not friends with ourselves, which then means we’re in somewhat of a solitary confinement.

For at least 80 years or so, we’re pretty much stuck with ourselves, and that relationship needs to work.

The process of accepting oneself is a beautiful one which starts by itself inside of our soul when we’re ready for it. There’s always more to be discovered.

There’s always more layers. Each time I revisit a part of myself, I have a different relationship with that tricky aspect. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t a part of me that’s still critical. It simply means that when that part shows up, I know how to handle it, how to make a dialogue with it.

I just want to be who I am, a real person - one who stands up for who she is and accepts herself for who she is. Most of all, I want to be a person who understands herself.

The more we can embrace and bring ourselves back to the home of our hearts to be loved, the more whole we become, the more we can be ourselves. Just learning to accept ourselves the way we are, and allowing ourselves to express no matter what that’s going to look like, can bring monumental shifts to our reality.

How much courage or lack of fear we have when it comes to allowing our personality to shine through, will determine how freely we move through the world.

Trying to become what other people think we should be is not who we are. That’s not the greatest gift that we can give to the world. The absolute best gift we can give to the world is to be authentically ourselves. That might mean that comes with some messiness sometimes - some tears, some joy, some fieriness - yet, that is the gift that we are.

Our authentic, creative expression is so unique to us that if we don’t learn or find a way to express our uniqueness, that will never be seen. It will never be expressed and it will die with us, unexpressed.

Be aware that we need to live our lives in a way that is clear to other people around us.

Be aware that an openhearted, compassionate life, albeit, a connected life is an authentic life, and anything else may leave us feeling isolated and alone.

When we start to belong to ourselves, to our own hearts, and to our own lives, we can begin to connect with life all around us in a deeper, real way.

We are simply who we are… and that is good enough.

Maritza Alvarez, Author
Authentically Us
Our Journey to Balance © 2012-2021

Behold,
winter’s grip will soon be broken.
Majestic magnolia,
tall and proud,
her buds patiently waiting
to herald spring’s triumph.

Maritza Alvarez, Author
Behold
Our Journey to Balance © 2012-2021

Through the falling snow,
the song of windchimes, and a dog
reminding me how simple life is.
I call upon the sunny days,
not just the storms.
After all, when all is said and done,
I am leaving behind stories for people
I’ll never meet, for people I’ll never
be able to sit down and correct.
For now, let us need each other and
be okay with that; today, in the fullness
of our moon, I will remember to love
its waning, too.

Maritza Alvarez, Author
Falling Snow
Our Journey to Balance © 2012-2021

Normal is boring.

There’s a place for it in the world, but how we develop our own eccentricity, to offset this, is critically important, so that we can make our own idiosyncratic contribution to the world.

It’s about pushing those boundaries. I know, that’s a terrible cliché.

It’s about overcoming that voice in our head, which strangely, we’ve all got, that says we’re not good enough.

Once we let go of that voice, we become more of our own character. And, we start liking that character, even if it upsets other people.

We cannot please everyone, so we may as well make sure we’re not displeasing ourselves all of the time.

We are born creative beings. We are born playful. Yet, as we get older, it’s horrifying how we divorce ourselves from our creativity.

I think it starts with giving ourselves permission. Writing facilitates the process for me. In writing, I can experience a level of freedom that I otherwise couldn’t in ‘normal’ life.

I once saw an interview with Quentin Tarantino’s friend who said about the famed movie director and script writer: “Thank goodness he became a director, otherwise, he would have become a mass murderer.”

Ha! I’d like to think that artists would have become incredibly evil human beings had they not become artists!

The page is a rather safe place. We can be whoever or whatever we like on the page. And maybe, this allows us to relax a little more in our own life. It’s about becoming curious about what’s happening to us, so that we’re able to live more deeply.

Several things have happened in my life that have caused me not to know where I was headed or what would happen next. I’ve lived through extremely anxious times and I had to find a way of coping. Writing is what got me through.

It contains you when you’re flung apart with anxiety. It gives you a tool to take the thing that destroys you and explore it out in the world so it doesn’t just sit in the body causing grief.

Once we start bringing it out, and giving it a shape in the world, we can have a conversation about what we don’t know about our pain.

What we know about our identity is small compared to our immeasurable unconsciousness. Our egos are insignificantly floating in a vast ocean.

We’ve got this massive resource of the unconscious and are trained by society not to trust it. But, we’ve got to get curious. We can never know where we’ll arrive with our unconscious. Maybe, it will be at a phrase destined to become a poem. Maybe, it will be at an image that draws you, waiting to become a painting. We must take it seriously. We shouldn’t dismiss the pull as rubbish and then go watch TV. Explore it. Play with it, whatever ‘it’ is.

I believe we are all storytellers. We are born storytellers. And, I believe, if we were to value own our creativity for our own sake, for our own mental health sake, the world would become a much better place.

I like to venture out early,
to welcome and play with dawn,
when my world is bathed in orange light,
when all is quiet, and
feels more forgiving…

Walking.
Listening for the arrival of dawn.
A rogue gust of wind
encourages the geese to fly.
Winter’s wolf moon releases the sun
to shine on the hopeful and the discouraged, alike.
How extraordinarily interesting
is this ordinary day.

There’s a remembering. I think that’s why I go back… to remember.

I remember why I’m alive. I remember to just stop, take it all in. I don’t think words can do it justice most of the time.

It’s an experience and I know it’s right.

If the forests were to talk, they would say: “Walk me. I’m here. And… I’m waiting for you. And… I can help. A lot.”

There’s something about the simple act of walking that is meditative, and puts me in some form of state that allows me to clear out the baggage.

Walking to me, is like a doctor. The longer we expose ourselves to that environment, the more in tune we become with that environment. That’s where the reconnection happens.

Walking - it’s what allows me to return dirty, grubby, healthy and fit, stronger and revived. I always sense a significant shift in my outlook. This is what it means to be human, this is what it means to be alive. This is what it means to exist. And this… is what’s existing with me.

All of a sudden, the world is a much bigger place. The trails are there. The park is there. We have feet at the bottom of our legs. We are born to walk. We are engineered to walk.

Get off your chair, is what I would say. And then… remember.